From the Redwood Forest . . . .

Blasted Starbucks

The next morning I was all excited to go to Sweet Papaya. It is the best frozen yogurt ever. Basically, think of God hand-making frozen yogurt Himself, and then placing it in a bowl embellished with scrumptious fruits, candies, granola, with a small colorful spoon. Yes. That is what it tastes like. I had Googled it the night before and it reported that they opened at 8:30 am. Perfect! Yogurt=milk product=perfect breakfast! Well we woke up that morning (late), got ready and headed to Sweet Papaya. I was stoked. We arrived and IT WAS CLOSED. THE INTERNET LIED TO ME!! I was crushed. I had been looking forward to this for a good 34,200 seconds. I hated my life at that moment of time. Sweet Papaya just so happened to be connected to a Starbucks so I had to settle for a blended Frappachino. I then had to say goodbye to Courtney (tear) and returned to Leigh's car.


I must introduce you to Serena. She is our GPS. She is not the brightest tool in the box, but she gets the job done (for the most part). She does happen to have a British accent which gives her some cool points, but over all she is a ditz and does not know what she is talking about. We continuously have to tell her to shut up (which she doesn't) and she can never make up her mind.


We were about 60 miles north of Medford, Oregon when Serena led us wrong. She told us to get off the interstate (Even I can read a map and knew that this was not right) onto this rinkydink highway. It would NEVER end.

She led us out to the middle of nowhere. Then we rolled into this rinky dink town called Merlin. There was a restaurant named the G-Spot. Are you freaking kidding me? The G-Spot?! Seriously. What is this world coming to. We turned on to Robertson Ridge Road for a lifetime. There happened to be a church out in the middle of no where. I wonder what their attendance is . . . There was also a river called "Limpy Creek." Wow. The G-Spot, Limpy Creek? I did not think that I could take anymore. As we began to descend into a valley, there was a huge billboard that said "Discover the Illinois Valley" or something to that nature. Ummmmm...Last time I checked we were in Oregon. Ten minutes later I started laughing. Leigh just looked at me with a confused look on her face and I exclaimed, "WHERE IN THE HECK IS THE ILLINOIS VALLEY? ARE THEY PROMOTING PEOPLE TO GO ILLINOIS?" That kept me entertained for the next few miles. We turned onto a different Robertson Ridge Road and then there was a river, church, grocery store, and restaurant all named Roberton Ridge. Real original people. Real original. We stopped at some grocery store for some grub. My cart was filled with beef jerky, a sandwich, an apple, and a snapple. Classic. I got the glass bottle just so I could get the Snapple Fact. Apparently a strawberry is not a berry, but a banana is. ?. I think the Snapple Company is on crack. This store was filled with white trash hick people.  . . everywhere. Granted, I live in hick town. BUT not white trash hick. There IS a difference. The worker at the deli was making our sandwiches and a lady asked Leigh what type of cheese she wanted. Leigh responded "American." "NO! WE DON"T HAVE AMERICAN." giggles. "Oooooo," she responded and then picked a cheese they did carry.

Our destination was the Redwood National Park in Crescent City and we were finally able to turn onto Highway 101. There was a booth that we had to go through and we were really confused as to what we were doing. Were we already at the park? Turns out it was border patrol and the Ranger was very nice. The first thing he asked was where we were from in Washington and in the back of my mind I was thinking "How does he know that we are from Washington?" "Creeper!!!!" (After we continued our drive, it clicked. Our license plate said Washington genius. Jeez. Sometimes I kill myself.) We then told him our travel plans and he gave us a California map. (It took Leigh 20 miles to find San Francisco on it. Chuckles.) He then asked us if we were bringing any fruit or vegetables into California. We suddenly pulled out our apples and cucumbers and he told us those were fine. We were all set to go and returned to the highway. About 45 minutes later, Leigh screamed, "Oh no! We forgot to tell him about our carrots!!"


Leigh got a bag of Skittles and as she placed the last one into her mouth, it popped out and she was quite disappointed. A while later I found it on the ground and gave it to her and she threw it away!! She never even looked at it! What a waste of a perfectly good grape skittle. . . . . I would have eaten it.



Leigh also got string cheese at the white trash grocery store. She had forgotten about it and found it later. She then decided to stick it out the window to cool it down. Brilliant? I believe so.



My 1st sign picture. Yessss.

As we continued on, we finally crossed the border. I was driving and it was raining. I saw the "Welcome to California" sign and looked at Leigh and said, "OH CAN WE STOP PLEASE!?!" I had never taken a picture at a state sign and was quite excited. I then proceeded to slam on my brakes and pull over to the side. Enough to say that the people driving behind us basically hate me. Considering that there is only two of us, throughout our entire trip, we became geniuses at propping a camera up. As Leigh was setting the timer on her camera, a car stopped and we were hoping that they were going to offer to take our picture. They went into reverse and asked us if we knew where the Oregon Caves were and then drove off. JERKS! Come on people! It is raining and you see two girls trying to set their camera up and you do not even ask them if you would like to take their picture? What is wrong with the world?



Pure Brilliance
As we were trying to figure out how to take the picture, Leigh whips out an umbrella from her purse! "Perfect!" I said. She then informed me that everyone who lives in Seattle carries an umbrella. She then proceeded to open the umbrella in the car. Even more brilliant. Chuckles.




TO BE CONTINUED